If a way to the better there be, it exacts a full look at the worst

Thomas Hardy

There are two concepts that are, I think, regularly confused; resignation and acceptance.

“That is just how it is”, “That is the way things work”, “Just get used to it”. All of these phrases seem to be based on the concept of resignation. I define this roughly as “This is not ideal/wrong/f****d-up, however nothing I can do will change it.” It is powerless – and mindset that has been singed by frustration, burned in the fire of anger and is now a charred mass stuck to the bottom of the pan of life. All too familiar.

Resignation can take on the disguise of acceptance; “You just have to accept it.” However authentic acceptance is quite different, and, far from being powerless is, in my view, the place from where all power is born. Simply, acceptance is a state of being, where; “This is so.” It is an aware recognition of the state our reality. There is no sting of injustice or tug of attachment. It is simply perception and recognition. Easily said, more challenging to practice.

So what is the value of acceptance? Simply; once I accept something as it is, all choices are available to me. I can decide, unburdened, whether this is something that I want or do not want. This may be a simple preference, indifference, or be the ground of a commitment that will change the world. The point is – from acceptance, I have choice in how I relate to a thing. In resignation, I have given my choice, and thus my power away.

The word unacceptable is interesting. For example – that racism exists may be expressed as ‘unacceptable’. However, it exists as can be verified in any number of ways. We can either declare it unacceptable, deny it exists, try and ignore it or find other ways to wish it away. Or we could tolerate it. Those options do not seem like they have worked in creating a better world. Or we can accept that it exists, and ask ourselves (individually and collectively) what we want to do about that – for example, from a commitment to the world in which we would prefer to live.

My invitation – look at what you are accepting? Can you see if it is actually acceptance or resignation? If it is resignation, then, what would you need to do to move toward acceptance? And if you accepted it just as it is – what would be possible from there?

Just a thought 😉