We sit, after grabbing our Coffees. It is cold outside, but warm in this cozy room. In the background there is the low bubble of conversations happening close by. It does not intrude. We are right here. I have a pen and paper, but I will probably not use them – at least not yet. We have met once before and we got into conversation. I shared with you what I do. You were curious, and so we arranged a time to talk more. And so, here we are. I say a few things about confidentiality, and how you get to say how this conversation goes – we can go as deep, or not as you want to. You say “Ok”.

“So”, I say. It is a word I use to introduce a new conversation in the gap after the social dance we have gone through after the last minutes of introductions and ‘getting comfortable’. “What do you want this conversation to be about?”. It is an unusual question I know. I watch the quizzical expression arrive and pass from your face. I am not making fun of you; I am attentive to what you will say next.

And then you begin. You start to tell me about what you are doing in your life. We are still on the surface I know; that is okay. The story you tell about what you are creating, hoping to create has markers that I notice and may come back to. Your energy is up, but not completely. Something is holding you back; like you are holding yourself in reserve or do not quite believe what you are telling me. The story is compelling. Something is missing.

“How is that going?” I ask. Then I see your energy drop. Those things I noticed; the holes just got larger and started to drain the colour out of the story. You begin to tell me about the things that are in the way. Money. Relationships. People who do not believe in your vision (reflecting you, I think to myself). How you get sucked into routine. I listen as you describe how things are for you and the drama that consumes time and energy in your life. I let myself see life as you see it. I let myself feel it. There is devastation there, which you keep hidden even from yourself – most of the time. There is a step further to go. “What will happen if nothing changes?” And now the devastation is fully present. I sit with you. Sit with it. Give you time and space to experience the swirl and depth of it. You see that I am not going anywhere. I am here. After a few moments, the storm diminishes. There is a smile. It is slight however I get it. The ‘You’ underneath you just showed up. I smile back. I know you get it. We share some slow breaths before I ask another question.

“What do you want instead?” You come alive. Now it all comes tumbling out. Happy to be let out of the caging drama, I can hear an excited five-year-old telling me about a fantastic first day at school; the colours, the brightness. You want to travel. You want to create. You want to go on a huge road-trip. You want to live abroad. You want to build a brand. A business. You want to have the time to volunteer and get involved in causes you are passionate about, and have the money to do it. You want to know your family are taken care of. You want to be closer to them. You want Love to explode in your life. And there You are. Shining. Radiant. I ask gentle questions and honour the glorious picture you paint of an amazing, fulfilling journey. Now your smile lights up the room. I support you to stay there and inhabit it for a few moments longer. I ask you to tell me how it feels to live in that vision. I see you can hold it for a few seconds more; something is creeping in. It is time again to shift.

I call to the 400lb Gorilla that has been approaching, behind your eyes. “What are you putting in the way of having that?”. Now I do reach for the paper. We make a list of the ‘realities’ of your life that make that glorious life impossible. We keep going until the list feels complete. The energy and joy have dissappeared from the room, but not from you. It is still there. I can see it. I am not sure that you can at this moment. The Gorilla is holding ground now and making small, audible threatening grunts.

I look to the list. “If we could deal with these things – so they were no longer an issue for you, what would happen?” I ask. We go down each item on the list in turn. The smile comes back as the Gorilla, at first startled progressively settles back into the corner of the room in the far distance, grabs a banana and starts eating; letting us two adults finish this conversation. Your smile is back, however it is a little shaky. The Gorilla is still there, occasionally grunting and ready to run back at any moment. I wink at it in my mind. It looks at me sideways.

It is time to offer something. That is why we are here, after all. “Here is what I do” I tell you. I tell you how I work with people to address the stories they put in the way of having the life they want, to take their power back from them. I tell you about putting structures in place; projects, accountability, weekly calls. I tell you about having you practice and play with life in new ways that you discover. You listen, taking the words in. The Gorilla is still there. Looking my way now. What I am saying is getting its attention. I am not speaking its language. I am speaking a language that does not compute for it at all. You are with me, and I sense the tension building. Then I let it drop.

“I cannot guarantee you will get what you want.” The Gorilla who was sidling toward us suddenly sits back, looks confused. I continue “If we work together, I will bring all of the skills and tools I have to support you. If more is needed I will go and find it. However, you get that this is down to you?” You nod; Gorilla confusion on your face too. “I can improve your odds for getting what you want, but it will take something from you too.” You nod again. The confused Gorilla is sitting back now, scratching and watching his feet.

We spend the next few minutes discussing what would be needed to improve your odds of creating the life you want still further. You tell me what you could do. You ask me what it will cost. I ask you how I could show up for you that would support you. We partner in devising ways we could work together and agreements we could both make that just might pull this grand caper off. Shortening the odds further and further. You see the commitment, the adventure, what is at risk. You want it; there is still no absolute guarantee. There is something to big play for. There is no bigger game than your Life.

I see the excitement behind your eyes; there is a sense of something new. There is fear too; and something bigger than fear. Far bigger. You. The 400lb Gorilla is now looking to be about 25lbs and is shrinking fast. It will be back. I know. That is why I am here.

“Are you ready?” I ask. I wait for the next words you will say.