I want to write

gushing the fullness of my heart

to tell you I LOVE YOU

right out loud (thanks Joni…)

is it that self-same love

that cautions me to hold back?

to not be too fucking much?

to take it slow, lest I scare you away

(and give this flowing heart nowhere to go)

Why hold it in?

Scared of loosing an invisible owner-less thing

Wriggling with the unreal pain of unreal loss

Making little sense – and feeling it all…

I think

I will continue

To wrestle with this bullshit

For a while longer