Just a short post today. Travelling to support a friend with a custody issue.

Life has emotional content. I think of it as our social operating system. We work with a veneer of language and fool ourselves that we are rational human beings that use our intellects to navigate life. The truth of the matter is I believe a lot more nuanced. Our models of the world are coloured and flavoured with the spice of emotion from the clawing sadnesses of loss, to the elation and passion of love, to the fire of jealousy and the raging storms of anger.

We also have been encultured to operate ‘on top’ of this emotional sea, lest it take us over. That is, I believe, a profound mistake and one in my work with individuals and groups that time is taken to un-pick and undo.

I believe that a human at peace with their emotions is at choice for their life. A human ill-at-ease with their emotions is blown around by the winds and can feel out of control. From there it is a simple cage to create that ’emotions are dangerous’ and should be avoided. Instead – I assert – all that is required is not to calm the winds – but to learn to sail… To be with rather than be our emotions.

And the gift of this work? Is the gift of FIRE. All of that flowing energy with us, around us and through us that we can now work with and use to create, to connect, to empower ourselves and others.

The only trouble is the amount of kleenex required and the number of innocent pillows and scarves sacrificed to the cause on the way in.

Playing with fire? Is there another way?

22Mar23