Wouldn’t it be wonderful if there was a single thing that, if you knew what it was, and if you did it, it would change everything for the better?

Imagine doing that one thing and getting the life that you want, or changing that aspect of your life that is not working for you into one that fills you with inspiration, joy, connection, love.

It would be nice. It would probably put me and many other people out of a job.

If only there were a magic bullet.

However, there is a catch.

Knowing what that thing is.

And even before that, there is a catch. What is it that you really want to transform?

You have probably heard the oft-quoted statistic that many lottery winners do not remain wealthy, and that the windfall of cash does not bring lasting satisfaction or happiness.

So if your discontent is around money, could it be that money itself is not actually the issue?

It could also be relationships, career, home life, getting pregnant… Perhaps there is some traumatic event that has you hooked. Maybe you just do not know what you want and feel aimless, pointless, hopeless (been there, done that…).

The chimera of the ‘magic bullet’ however is very popular. The latest self-help advice, or diet, or guided meditation, or get-rich quick scheme, exploitable tax loophole, ‘just do these simple 7 steps and…’. You have probably visited much of this attractive click-bait online. If you are like me, it has not worked for you either. My experience is it just fed the monster of ‘I do not have what it takes’ and after some wound-licking, I came back (past-tense) for more. Rinse. Repeat.

So if there is no magic bullet – then what?

The secret sauce is an extra special blend – as individual as you – of two simple concepts; ‘Integrity’ and ‘Responsibility’.

Integrity; My words, thoughts and actions are aligned.

Responsibility; I own this – all of it.

Responsibility is a pretty radical place to come from. If how you experience the world is actually up to you – all of it – then there is nowhere else to look to change the world except within yourself. And if you want to have results ‘out there’, then perhaps all that is in the way is how you experience the world ‘in here’ that makes the results you want impossible to achieve. If it is all you – you get to change it.

Integrity is a million miles deep. Where do your thoughts come from? Do you have the experience of choosing them? Which ones do you give energy to? Which do you choose to remove your attention from? What words do you say? What promises do you make? What promises do you keep? Are your actions reflective of your intentions? Are you lying to yourself? To others? What is below the waterline of the iceberg of your unconscious mind that you have yet to see? That is running your life?

The promise of responsibility and integrity is the life that you dream of. The challenge is, against all of your experience and habits of a lifetime, moving the dial toward a life of responsibility and integrity. This takes diligent practice and a ton of support. If you knew how, you would have done it already. And you are also up against everything that has bought you to where you are now that looks to be ‘how the world works’, ‘who others are’ and ‘what is the right thing to do’.

The secret sauce is what I am blending and creating in my life, seasoned with all the emotional swings of my old stories, cooked in the heat of my intention for what I want my life to be and lovingly tended by myself, with the support of my coach, peers, teachers, leaders. It is getting pretty tasty. A ladle-full of it over a new experience is creating some amazing flavours. It keeps getting better. A bunch of people I have and continue to share it with seem pretty inspired.

You want some? Perhaps we can start preparing yours…