By Don / Date: September 20th, 2020
I conclude looking at the current state of the world that not everyone believes in the same version of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’. This extends to political parties and their platforms, which candidate is ‘right’ for the country, which policy is the best. It is also embedded in many conceptions of religion where worshipping the right version of god in the right way is so important that it can lead to bloody struggle to assert one version of ‘right’ over another. Bitterly ironic since most religions espouse ‘peace’ as a central tenet.
This points to a key wisdom that I think the individuals whose teachings are claimed as the basis of many religious faiths were pointing at – that ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ are conventions, not describing any absolute truth. In more secular terms Plato and Socrates pointed at the same thing distinguishing law (the world of right and wrong) from justice (the world of what is ‘correct’ in human relationships). I put ‘correct’ in quotes here to attempt to distinguish it from the ‘right’ of right and wrong, instead to denote something which is in some higher sense wholesome and complete. This stuff is so deeply embedded in language it can be challenging to find a way of expressing clearly past it. I digress.
To put it in plainer terms, I see the concepts of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ as training wheels in our journey to mastery over our lives. Consider – how do you know that something is ‘right’? Either an external authority has claimed it so, and you choose to trust them and therefore align with their assertion – or you look to your own experience and observe how that ‘right’ thing aligns with your past experience. So, either the authority is external, or in your past – or some combination of the two. However the domain of any action based on these notions are in the future – yours. Any future based on the past is likely to either bear strong resemblance to or at least rhyme with that past. Equally a future based on external authority is going to be limited by the wisdom of that authority, which may itself be wholesome or questionable.
I am in the business of inviting teams and individuals to create a new future, to break new ground and live into new possibilities. In the face of this challenge, what happens to navigation based on ideas of right and wrong?
For most of my life I have used a formula to navigate whereby I locate an external real or imagined authority, do what I expect is aligned with that authority and expect my needs to be met as a result. This approach had mixed results including monumental frustration before I decided to create a life outside of it. I developed this strategy for living at a very young age when my emotional survival in a large family was based on divining which way the wind was blowing and quickly setting my sails to match. It was successful in some areas, less so in others. I excelled in school, got a 1st class Master of Engineering degree, followed up with a Doctorate and an academic career before I realized that this was not who I was. In the process it had also had me surrender my sense of agency in one marriage (which fell apart when I concluded I could not get my needs met within it). I had not quite learned the lesson as this pattern again contributed to the end of a second marriage after 15 years of working at it.
The future I was working towards I did not have a formula for. I have found values along the way that I keep examining and re-interpreting as I learn more; Love, Integrity, Joy, Compassion. Over time I trust I am creating a deeper and more trusting relationship with myself as my own source of present authority; wisdom. The self-concept emerging from this is what I think Jung indicated as the ‘Sovereign’ or ‘King’ archetype – I am the source of my own authority.
So what use is there for right and wrong? Well – these are still useful concepts that clearly have application. They got me a long way in some domains. However I think an error can arise in holding onto this as a means of navigating life too tightly. Right and wrong are useful, fast shorthand – however I think they must always be open to examination and evaluation as circumstances and experience unfold. Just like training wheels on a childs bike – they provide a means of safety and security, however they are ultimately limiting. And also – they do not teach a child how to ride a bike. Regarding how you actually ride a bike, here is another writing.
In conclusion; some guiding principles that I hold: 1) Right and wrong are just training wheels. In the face of new experience and evidence I must be willing to abandon my old versions of these if I am to grow. 2) No one has ever lived my life before, and hence the only source of reliable authority is ultimately my own. 3) Others have wisdom to offer that I may align with that helps me refine and adjust as I encounter my life – being open to these contributions (and being willing to put my own right/wrong on hold long enough so that I can hear them) is key to my growth. 5) Taking off the training wheels and leaning in is always interesting – and often scary as hell as I abandon the incomplete refuge of my old right/wrong… 4) I have not got this all figured out yet, and have no idea how deep it goes…